Monthly Archives: March 2012

Ghosting Footballers: David De Gea

A month in the life of David De Gea Wednesday 7 December 2011: Basel 2-1 Man Utd Got up. Shaved sideburns. Should have saved Streller’s goal. Still low on confidence so the Mister [Sir Alex Ferguson] encouraged me to visualise … Continue reading

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Praying for Muamba

The collapse of Fabrice Muamba goes against our sense of fairness. Physically fit and at the start of his career, it is simply not right for this “genuine, warm boy” to be fighting for his life. There is clearly something wrong … Continue reading

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Oh Captain, My Captain: John Terry

Captain John Terry (Chelsea) vs. Captain Birdseye (potato waffles) I can’t even imagine where you’re going with this one. How about this. Captain Birds’ Eye, grammatically speaking, has an eye of the birds and John Terry has an eye for … Continue reading

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Ghosting Footballers: Luis Suárez

This series is effectively our unsolicited audition to ghostwrite the memoirs of prominent football personalities by demonstrating how well we can get inside their heads and write with their authentic voices. We present a first draft (with author and editor … Continue reading

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Oh Captain, My Captain: Scott Pardew

Captain Scott Pardew (Newcastle United) vs. Captain Boromir (Lord of the Rings) Because Boromir was captain of a castle and Scott Pardew is captain of Newcastle. Well before we get into the details of that statement, how about a photo? … Continue reading

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The Super Tactic? It’s All About Balance

A super tactic once guided Nuneaton Borough from the Conference to the Premier League in just four glory-filled seasons of Championship Manager. But where is that winning formation when we really need it? How should England line up at the … Continue reading

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Oh Captain, My Captain: Ledley King

Captain Ledley King (Tottenham Hotspur) vs. Captain Long John Silver (Treasure Island) So the thing Ledley King is known for is having dodgy knees… That’s the defining thing he is known for? Yes. Anyway, Ledley King has dodgy knees and … Continue reading

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Idea: The Home Club

Hypothesis Every player should be associated with a “home club” – the one whose academy they attended, where they were based when they were given their first contract. Home Clubs receive a percentage of all future transfer fees of that … Continue reading

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On Twitter: Joey Barton + Self-Realisation

This is the best thing I’ve ever seen on Twitter and the Metro combined: Joey Barton threatens to quit Football Manager after argument with himself:  http://www.metro.co.uk/sport/oddballs/886657-joey-barton-threatens-to-quit-football-manager-2012-after-argument-with-himself#ixzz1p86QXkWq Can’t help but wonder what it was that annoyed Joey Barton so much – losing … Continue reading

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The Game (not football, another game. More for car journeys and stuff)

Take turns to name a Premier League footballer whose first initial is the same as the previous footballer’s last initial, with no repeats. One Bonus Point for naming a footballer at the same club as the previous footballer Lose a Point … Continue reading

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