MO2H 3: Manchester United

Episode 3 takes us to the third-placed team in the EPL – the team of our hearts, Manchester United!

Or download it here. (Follow the link, then right-click and save)

Featuring more songs, more jokes, more speculation and a match day report from Old Trafford, as well as the answer to last week’s football trivia question.

To sing along with us, click on “Continue Reading” for the lyrics.

MO2H artwork

“Big Sam’s West Ham”

Anybody who is anybody knows at Upton Park
Big Sam’s West Ham are long-balling
If you think when they advance, it’s all down to chance, you won’t be wide of the mark
Unlike Big Sam’s West Ham – long-balling

They like Route One, so they scoot on
Just like Wimbledon do
Big Sam’s quite simple, he says “Give it the old one-two,
Lump it long, boys
Pass it on, boys
I could write you a dossier
Van Gaal’s a statistician
But I am a tactician
Sophisticated magician of the game were playing here.”

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah, ooh da da da da

You know Sam once said
He was a sort of wonderkid
And he should be managing
A team like Real Madrid

Van Gaal’s insulted
That’s resulted
In a little bit of a spt
He said “Big Sam was wrong, and I’ll prove it with some stats.
We play with class
Not long ball, but long pass
So kiss my twitchy ass…
There is a difference
Long ball is your convention
We pass with intention
Just thought it worth a mention to the press assembled here.”

But anybody who watched the game knows that
Both Van Gaal’s Man U
And Big Sam’s West Ham
Were long-balling.

original song and music by Paul Williams (“Big Sam’s Grand Slam”)

“Moyes Way”

Regrets, I’ve had a few
But every one seemed worth a mention
Every wrong move, every mis-step
Each one received so much press attention
When I was sacked, the news was leaked
It didn’t happen in a nice way
But all I can say is this:
I did it Moyes Way

So where did it go wrong?
From champions to abject surrender
Was it my tactics? I lost the dressing room
When I pissed off all my defenders
But I had no galacticos
All I could buy was Fellaini
I even took the blame for this –
They said “It’s Moyes’ Way.”

The Chosen One, the fans would shout
Just nine months on, it was: “Moyes Out”
I took it all, I took the flak
And then they stabbed me in the back
That vitriol, I took it all
I did it…Moyes Way

original song and music by Paul Anka, Claude Francois and Jacques Revaux, performed by Frank Sinatra (“My Way”)


Januzaj, all our hopes for your were super high
You were a speedy and a skilful guy
We believed in you, oh Januzaj

Cleverley, you’re not half the player we thought you’d be
Now you’re at Villa temporarily
Make it permanent, oh Cleverley

Welbeck had to go
Wasn’t good enough to stay
Falling over when you’ve got a chance in front of goal
Doesn’t mean that you should play

But Januzaj, you’re better than those other guys
Perhaps you’ll get another try
We still believe in Januzaj

original song and music by John Lennon and Paul McCartney (“Yesterday”)

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4 Responses to MO2H 3: Manchester United

  1. Richard Hunt says:

    Had a fantastic journey in the car this morning catching up with the podcasts.
    We’d love to be guests sometime..!
    Can we submit our answer of ‘Young’ for this week’s quiz!?

    • Yes please come and be a guest on MO2H! Which one of you is the football fan and which is the fan of the football fan? 😉 We took a hiatus this weekend in line with last weekend’s lack of PL action but the trivia answer will be in the next episode. I like your chances though!

  2. Neil Luo says:

    too bad wellbeck scored against man u (referring to your last song!)

    • Oh I know it was awful! The first few times Welbeck got the ball he looked like a newborn calf standing upright for the first time and I thought haha Arsenal fans, welcome to the agony of watching Welbeck fail to score on your behalf. Ironically I’ve seen him play at Old Trafford loads and that was the only goal. Afterwards the Arsenal fans were singing “Danny Welbeck, he left cos you’re s***”, which wasn’t strictly true but I wasn’t in the mood to explain and I don’t think they were in the mood to hear it.

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